Doing What You Like

I like to write. It calms me. You see: I have anxiety. I have the anxiety that no one talks about. It's the eat you alive because you are literally going to crawl outside your skin type of anxiety.

I'm a know-it-all. Yes, we actually exist. We do. Some of us will talk about it and others won't. It's all about the purpose and the plan. So maybe tomorrow I will be the type who no longer talks about it and just accepts it. No longer need for validation because that which IS has COME and there is no fear in love.

Maybe my writings are a bit too advanced presently. But, I can no longer write like I used to. I used to try so hard to help it make sense. And it doesn't make any sense and that's why I have purposefully resigned to write like this. From now on. Because if I have to spell it out and scream it out loud, it isn't worth it anyway. Life is best in code, in the detail, in the muck and the mire of it as you wait to find out if you are really you.

You can't betray yourself, you know that? You can't.

It all works for the good.

For those who love him

Who are called

According to His Purpose.

I'm not rewriting anything here or trying to make something new out of something old. I am just repeating, accentuating and if anything, using and borrowing. Because somethings can't be said any clearer than how they are already said.

I could tell you how I figured it all out or how it literally all cleared and one day just all made sense. The countless whys. The years and years of pain and suffering. No, I don't know your suffering. But I had my own. Today it is as real to me as it was then. Tomorrow, I pray it is a distant memory. But I had my suffering and the nature of suffering is to think that yours is worse than everyone else's. It likes to be compared for some odd reason. And I guarantee you when yours comes it will TO YOU be the worst suffering you could endure. No one's suffering is worse than anyone else's. You get what is needed and required.

Let us turn away then from the need to compare sufferings out of jealousy or spite. Instead, turn towards suffering with honor. To the mother left to do it on her own, we salute you. To the son left without a father and no way of knowing better, we salute you. To the child who wants to kill herself but finds a way to stay, we salute you. Your pains are your stripes. And by them you are healed.

Did I say enough? Did I say too much? I can't remember who said that you beautiful song raven, you. Alas, Alanis or whomever is stuck in my head right now beckoning me to remember that it INDEED IS ALL FOR GOOD.

This birdie is due for a nap. Hinoki and the Bird. haha. Cute.

I love you all! But especially, you.