I charge you to question anyone who tells you to adopt the ungodly, unspiritual mantra of "let go."
Nowhere in the Bible do we find the words "let go" or "let go and let God." This is false teaching and you should be very wary of any person who instructs you in this false way.
What we see in the word of God is his admonishment of those who did not let go. Those who had faith for the promises of God, who had faith in his spoken word to them personally and who continued on despite all odds and bad counsel of man, were revered and considered not only examples of faith but were called righteous in God's sight.
I admonish you that if you are able to let something go (which takes more mental and spiritual effort than faith) you are not practicing faith and it is outright spiritual defiance to the word of God. We are told to hold on to his promises to believe him and to not waver.
Keep your armor on, fellow travelers of Light! The battle is long but is longer if you are working against God and his Word.
An article I found that is sound:
http://www.gotquestions.org/let-go-and-let-God.html
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
On Canvassing
Canvassing sucks.
one. you are eating on curbs and have no water unless you brought it.
two. i can't afford to bring my own food.
three. everyone says no.
four. most people don't even open their doors.
five. most people don't even open their metal gates so you can't even see their faces.
six. the walking.
seven. no effective training.
eight. i have more questions than i have answers for.
nine. i was told i didn't have to be pushy.
ten. now i'm being told i need to be aggressive.
fuck.
this.
shit.
one. you are eating on curbs and have no water unless you brought it.
two. i can't afford to bring my own food.
three. everyone says no.
four. most people don't even open their doors.
five. most people don't even open their metal gates so you can't even see their faces.
six. the walking.
seven. no effective training.
eight. i have more questions than i have answers for.
nine. i was told i didn't have to be pushy.
ten. now i'm being told i need to be aggressive.
fuck.
this.
shit.
Sunday, May 24, 2015
On Competition
Ashish. Aalok. Rohit.
Those were the names of my earliest competitors in life.
The Sahai boys. The sons of the local doctors and they happened to be in my elementary class growing up. They became my first guy friends in life as well. And they were smart.
They were real smart. They were the ones who always got 100% on everything. If they didn't get 100%, it was a big deal to them.
Early on I decided that I would be as good as them. And I was. I excelled at math and got the same scores as they did and once or twice beat them even. Imagine my joy. I beat one of the Sahai boys. I knew that I could do anything if I put my mind to it.
I remember finding out that all three of them would be skipping a grade and would no longer be in class with me. It was a blow. I was performing as well as them. I didn't have the prestige or family legacy in academics that they did and I didn't have parents or culture pushing me to get somewhere quickly either. I felt kind of dumped. Why didn't anyone notice that I was as smart as they were?
So after years of sort of wandering aimlessly academically and getting into loads of trouble because I was as bored as bored could be, I found my first boyfriend. He was smart. That's why I liked him. He was kind and he was fun to be around and he cared about his physique but really, he was smart and he helped me want to do better and be the best. We spent some of our date nights studying and doing math with one of his best friends.
You get the picture.
I love smart men. I love nerds. I love being a nerd. I love having something to strive for and someone to compete against. Of course, your only competition is yourself. But, my life experience says that if someone else is doing it better than you, you can do it better too.
Thanks, Lumosity, for your horrible math section which flooded me with memories of who I used to be and who I actually am.
Those were the names of my earliest competitors in life.
The Sahai boys. The sons of the local doctors and they happened to be in my elementary class growing up. They became my first guy friends in life as well. And they were smart.
They were real smart. They were the ones who always got 100% on everything. If they didn't get 100%, it was a big deal to them.
Early on I decided that I would be as good as them. And I was. I excelled at math and got the same scores as they did and once or twice beat them even. Imagine my joy. I beat one of the Sahai boys. I knew that I could do anything if I put my mind to it.
I remember finding out that all three of them would be skipping a grade and would no longer be in class with me. It was a blow. I was performing as well as them. I didn't have the prestige or family legacy in academics that they did and I didn't have parents or culture pushing me to get somewhere quickly either. I felt kind of dumped. Why didn't anyone notice that I was as smart as they were?
So after years of sort of wandering aimlessly academically and getting into loads of trouble because I was as bored as bored could be, I found my first boyfriend. He was smart. That's why I liked him. He was kind and he was fun to be around and he cared about his physique but really, he was smart and he helped me want to do better and be the best. We spent some of our date nights studying and doing math with one of his best friends.
You get the picture.
I love smart men. I love nerds. I love being a nerd. I love having something to strive for and someone to compete against. Of course, your only competition is yourself. But, my life experience says that if someone else is doing it better than you, you can do it better too.
Thanks, Lumosity, for your horrible math section which flooded me with memories of who I used to be and who I actually am.
Friday, May 22, 2015
Growing Up Under the Stars
I remember so much.
All the way back to my grandma's house.
Funny how consciousness just hits you one day.
Where was I before that?
I have always had an uncanny fascination with the stars. Whether or not this is commonplace, I have not endeavored to know. It's the thing I share with a potential lover; in secret and oh so subtly. But now that I know whose I am, I don't feel the need to keep as much private as I once did.
I remember the day our gym at my elementary school was turned into a starry sky. A huge bubble, igloo-looking, was blown up in the "top-left" corner of the gym. I remember removing my shoes as if preparing for a mission; so excited to crawl through that tunnel hole, so excited for what I would find on the other side. I wanted answers and I was hoping that day would be the day I would learn them.
Instead, I learned their names and how, clustered together, people before me had called them certain things. I felt a sense of order in there. I felt safe. It was just us, the stars and black. I scanned them all looking for the clue; looking for the answer. A few stood out to me and they remain the beacons to this day.
Some "time" later, I was taken to Des Moines to go simulate space station stuff and learn about NASA and all that jazz. I remember the energy of that day the most. I remember Tyler and Jeremy always being just as smart as me and just as capable and I remember looking to them to see if they understood their parts as a clue to help me understand mine. I felt important. I felt capable. I felt I could be and do absolutely anything I wanted.
Sidebar: I really hope somehow that at least one of my teachers along the way can read this. I
just want you all to know how successful you really are.
They've always been my friends; the stars. It's always been that if I can find a certain constellation underneath an open sky, I feel relieved. I feel calmed. I feel aligned. And I can always find them because I'm always looking.
People say you can't see the stars in Los Angeles but the bright ones shine brighter here than any night in the middle of a cornfield or mountain pass because they have no competition. But, there is a dis-connectivity here as not seeing as many makes you forget that you are always seen, always heard, always known. Most people stop looking but that's not me.
I'm not giving up.
All the way back to my grandma's house.
Funny how consciousness just hits you one day.
Where was I before that?
I have always had an uncanny fascination with the stars. Whether or not this is commonplace, I have not endeavored to know. It's the thing I share with a potential lover; in secret and oh so subtly. But now that I know whose I am, I don't feel the need to keep as much private as I once did.
I remember the day our gym at my elementary school was turned into a starry sky. A huge bubble, igloo-looking, was blown up in the "top-left" corner of the gym. I remember removing my shoes as if preparing for a mission; so excited to crawl through that tunnel hole, so excited for what I would find on the other side. I wanted answers and I was hoping that day would be the day I would learn them.
Instead, I learned their names and how, clustered together, people before me had called them certain things. I felt a sense of order in there. I felt safe. It was just us, the stars and black. I scanned them all looking for the clue; looking for the answer. A few stood out to me and they remain the beacons to this day.
Some "time" later, I was taken to Des Moines to go simulate space station stuff and learn about NASA and all that jazz. I remember the energy of that day the most. I remember Tyler and Jeremy always being just as smart as me and just as capable and I remember looking to them to see if they understood their parts as a clue to help me understand mine. I felt important. I felt capable. I felt I could be and do absolutely anything I wanted.
Sidebar: I really hope somehow that at least one of my teachers along the way can read this. I
just want you all to know how successful you really are.
They've always been my friends; the stars. It's always been that if I can find a certain constellation underneath an open sky, I feel relieved. I feel calmed. I feel aligned. And I can always find them because I'm always looking.
People say you can't see the stars in Los Angeles but the bright ones shine brighter here than any night in the middle of a cornfield or mountain pass because they have no competition. But, there is a dis-connectivity here as not seeing as many makes you forget that you are always seen, always heard, always known. Most people stop looking but that's not me.
I'm not giving up.
Friday, May 15, 2015
It's Not Worth It Anymore
I was happy once. Wasn't I? I see pictures of me smiling and with former friends and I look so happy. But underneath it all, I just have to say that really, truly...I've never been happy. I've never been given my heart's desires so my life is really a joke to me. It's worthless and void.
And honestly, I'm not interested in living it any longer. Put that in the record books.
If I can't get what's been shown me and promised to me, I'm not interested in any more time here on this earth. Or in heaven either because to this date, God is a liar. He has not made good on his promises and if he does I'll let you know. Reality is, I'm so close to being done that I doubt I will see the day.
The second reality is that I no longer want what God promised me. It's a cosmic joke and it is cruel. And I can't take anymore.
If you're reading this, I'm not sorry. It's not like any of you cared enough to show up or stay or help anyways. It's not like there has been anyone by my side or holding my hand. I have had to do all of this out of my own strength and courage without anyone helping me. The people I called my closest friends a year ago are strangers to me. They don't give a fuck about me and honestly, I, in turn, don't give a fuck about them.
I have no one to turn to. I have no where to go.
I am done.
And honestly, I'm not interested in living it any longer. Put that in the record books.
If I can't get what's been shown me and promised to me, I'm not interested in any more time here on this earth. Or in heaven either because to this date, God is a liar. He has not made good on his promises and if he does I'll let you know. Reality is, I'm so close to being done that I doubt I will see the day.
The second reality is that I no longer want what God promised me. It's a cosmic joke and it is cruel. And I can't take anymore.
If you're reading this, I'm not sorry. It's not like any of you cared enough to show up or stay or help anyways. It's not like there has been anyone by my side or holding my hand. I have had to do all of this out of my own strength and courage without anyone helping me. The people I called my closest friends a year ago are strangers to me. They don't give a fuck about me and honestly, I, in turn, don't give a fuck about them.
I have no one to turn to. I have no where to go.
I am done.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
This will be a Challenge
How to write this.
Acclimation is difficult.
I'm not sure I have more than that presently. The only reality is I know is that I didn't choose to be born. It's more like I was shot into this world. This is the only place of confidence I have presently as I struggle with what appears to be true and what is actually true. One reality is true and the other is false. It is up to you to decide which you will choose to live in.
In one you can rest knowing that God really does have you, completely, entirely, lovingly and sweetly...HE HAS YOU. It's a promise. If you have your faith in him, no harm can come to you. You are only moving from glory to glory to glory. Again and again. So whatever feels like lack is not lack. It is something else though you may not presently comprehend what the thing is. Whatever seems like stripping or shedding or removal is not that. At least not in any truest sense of the word because only greater will come by your means of letting go.
Regardless, it is good to have support here. I am thankful for the presence of a friend. I have more than enough with God alone but it's good to be with those you can trust.
Acclimation is difficult.
I'm not sure I have more than that presently. The only reality is I know is that I didn't choose to be born. It's more like I was shot into this world. This is the only place of confidence I have presently as I struggle with what appears to be true and what is actually true. One reality is true and the other is false. It is up to you to decide which you will choose to live in.
In one you can rest knowing that God really does have you, completely, entirely, lovingly and sweetly...HE HAS YOU. It's a promise. If you have your faith in him, no harm can come to you. You are only moving from glory to glory to glory. Again and again. So whatever feels like lack is not lack. It is something else though you may not presently comprehend what the thing is. Whatever seems like stripping or shedding or removal is not that. At least not in any truest sense of the word because only greater will come by your means of letting go.
Regardless, it is good to have support here. I am thankful for the presence of a friend. I have more than enough with God alone but it's good to be with those you can trust.
Saturday, May 9, 2015
When No One Believes
I know that my experiences mirror those of others. I am not alone.
I'm writing for my own peace of mind but also for the peace of others to come.
There will be times in life when no one believes you.
In fact, it is a distinct possibility that no one believes IN you either. For they are closely related.
Your experience in this world is unique to you but it is not unique. Others have traveled the road you are currently on in spirit. Perhaps their trials did not look like yours. Perhaps their spiritual journey manifested differently than yours does. But does that make you or me WRONG in our experiences?
The answer is an emphatic: NO!
The truth is when you walk with God, you will be asked to not trust in your own understanding. You may be asked to not trust in anyone else's understanding either. For the gift of life is living within your own understanding. It is a place of extreme trust to know what God has spoken to you that no one else has heard, seen or experienced either.
People will call you crazy. They will say, "That's not how things are done!"
When the world and all the people around you turn against you, you must continue to believe. Believe in your own revelation. Believe in your uniqueness. Believe in what you heard from God. Believe you are created just the way you are and you are enough.
This is my present challenge. I pity the fool who does not listen when another says, "This is what God has shown me."
You must continue on. In your own way. He will make room for you.
I'm writing for my own peace of mind but also for the peace of others to come.
There will be times in life when no one believes you.
In fact, it is a distinct possibility that no one believes IN you either. For they are closely related.
Your experience in this world is unique to you but it is not unique. Others have traveled the road you are currently on in spirit. Perhaps their trials did not look like yours. Perhaps their spiritual journey manifested differently than yours does. But does that make you or me WRONG in our experiences?
The answer is an emphatic: NO!
The truth is when you walk with God, you will be asked to not trust in your own understanding. You may be asked to not trust in anyone else's understanding either. For the gift of life is living within your own understanding. It is a place of extreme trust to know what God has spoken to you that no one else has heard, seen or experienced either.
People will call you crazy. They will say, "That's not how things are done!"
When the world and all the people around you turn against you, you must continue to believe. Believe in your own revelation. Believe in your uniqueness. Believe in what you heard from God. Believe you are created just the way you are and you are enough.
This is my present challenge. I pity the fool who does not listen when another says, "This is what God has shown me."
You must continue on. In your own way. He will make room for you.
Friday, May 8, 2015
Giving Up and Letting Go
I've experienced it before. That's the only way I'm writing about it right now.
Because certainly, in the moment you are presently experiencing it, you struggle and wrestle to make agreement with it.
Everything you know to be a promise from God, you must completely die to and surrender to it not actually working out in order for it to work out.
You must give up.
This goes against conventional wisdom and the ways of the world.
And that is why it is right.
It is often when we go against convention; against the million voices whether in your head or out; against the wave that sends you in more panic and fear that the absolute pit of your stomach is about to fall through your vagina and you are about to exit your body because the sheer height of the wave nearly forced it out of you. Yeah, that's when. That's when you have to let it go.
I have to let this promise die.
It is the model.
You actually have to kill it yourself.
That's the model. That's how you follow instructions.
God, be with me. This is the hardest thing I've ever done.
Because certainly, in the moment you are presently experiencing it, you struggle and wrestle to make agreement with it.
Everything you know to be a promise from God, you must completely die to and surrender to it not actually working out in order for it to work out.
You must give up.
This goes against conventional wisdom and the ways of the world.
And that is why it is right.
It is often when we go against convention; against the million voices whether in your head or out; against the wave that sends you in more panic and fear that the absolute pit of your stomach is about to fall through your vagina and you are about to exit your body because the sheer height of the wave nearly forced it out of you. Yeah, that's when. That's when you have to let it go.
I have to let this promise die.
It is the model.
You actually have to kill it yourself.
That's the model. That's how you follow instructions.
God, be with me. This is the hardest thing I've ever done.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
On Being an Artist
Anytime you do something first without getting paid for it or having possibility of payment, you're an artist.
Anytime you dream and put that dream to work without knowing how it's all going to workout, you're an artist.
Anytime you do what the small voice tells you and you don't understand but you just keep trusting, you're an artist.
God's an artist, no?
The hardest thing that I've had to accept in my life is my dissatisfaction with the status quo and the need to be myself amongst extraordinary pressure to conform and be just like everyone else. Get your ducks in a row. Be responsible. Pay your taxes. Brush your hair. Be this weight. Get a job. No really, why can't you keep a job?
Why can't I?
Probably because within me is this deep, deep knowing that I'm not meant to work. You feel it too, don't you?
Not meant to work. It defies all logic and all sense of why the hell I was put here in the first place. I was birthed into a system and my soul doesn't like this system.
My soul wants restoration. My soul wants things to be the way they were intended to be. I live in harmony with God, with nature and with the rest of mankind. I don't work, I be. I enjoy the presence of God and it's enough. It inspires me to do great things and it makes me childlike in my innermost being. But work? What's that? I'm not meant for that.
And you can say, "Oh but the curse," and I will kindly tell you to fuck the curse because Jesus already kicked its ass. So why are we living under an old system? Why are we not living in the inheritance promised us? Why aren't we renewing our minds unto Christ Jesus?
If I had work in this lifetime, and I don't really for there is a difference between work and purpose. But if I had work assigned to me, it would be so many things on so many fronts that it makes no sense to even talk about it. For my purpose is always in the present moment. It is not something out there but in here and meant to be explored daily, hourly, moment-by-moment with my Creator. And in my opinion, there is absolutely nothing better than the adventures and rides he takes you on.
So much of me wants to recant some of our grand adventures and crazy tales but I will leave it for another time. Today, I have permission to be a kid. I have permission to be home just because I want to be and maybe I'll even get an ice cream or go to the beach.
Playing hooky for life!
Anytime you dream and put that dream to work without knowing how it's all going to workout, you're an artist.
Anytime you do what the small voice tells you and you don't understand but you just keep trusting, you're an artist.
God's an artist, no?
The hardest thing that I've had to accept in my life is my dissatisfaction with the status quo and the need to be myself amongst extraordinary pressure to conform and be just like everyone else. Get your ducks in a row. Be responsible. Pay your taxes. Brush your hair. Be this weight. Get a job. No really, why can't you keep a job?
Why can't I?
Probably because within me is this deep, deep knowing that I'm not meant to work. You feel it too, don't you?
Not meant to work. It defies all logic and all sense of why the hell I was put here in the first place. I was birthed into a system and my soul doesn't like this system.
My soul wants restoration. My soul wants things to be the way they were intended to be. I live in harmony with God, with nature and with the rest of mankind. I don't work, I be. I enjoy the presence of God and it's enough. It inspires me to do great things and it makes me childlike in my innermost being. But work? What's that? I'm not meant for that.
And you can say, "Oh but the curse," and I will kindly tell you to fuck the curse because Jesus already kicked its ass. So why are we living under an old system? Why are we not living in the inheritance promised us? Why aren't we renewing our minds unto Christ Jesus?
If I had work in this lifetime, and I don't really for there is a difference between work and purpose. But if I had work assigned to me, it would be so many things on so many fronts that it makes no sense to even talk about it. For my purpose is always in the present moment. It is not something out there but in here and meant to be explored daily, hourly, moment-by-moment with my Creator. And in my opinion, there is absolutely nothing better than the adventures and rides he takes you on.
So much of me wants to recant some of our grand adventures and crazy tales but I will leave it for another time. Today, I have permission to be a kid. I have permission to be home just because I want to be and maybe I'll even get an ice cream or go to the beach.
Playing hooky for life!
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
There's a Shaking Going On
Rumble, rumble, rumble.
As I dust off my feathers and try to make sense of what has stunned me, I have a few important details to write down for you.
I was chatting with my good, old friend Emilie this morning and took note of the time when God made a breakthrough in my spirit. It was 11:11. Emilie helped me come to the realization and the conclusion that I still have faith for the promises of God over my life.
At 11:30am here in Los Angeles, I made one of the most profound statements of my life. I will leave it between Emilie and I, for now.
This:
http://www.krcrtv.com/news/local/33-magnitude-earthquake-in-redding/32844840
Definitely connected.
Because 3.3 or 333 or anything to do with such is locked on, dead-on for me concerning EXACTLY what I was talking to Emilie about.
Then on Bernadette Ooley's facebook posting regarding the earthquake Cal Pierce says:
"The earth is groaning for someone to arise."
I empathically agree.
Someone posted on her post that it had been seven years since the last earthquake. God told me to go get my journal and look up the date 7 years ago. Inside, I found this:
"Laura Weltha wrote in an email today...'Well God says this, "Now it can't be done on your own strength. I'm going to make it all about me. Now you will have to give me all the credit/the glory. ...Give Him full control."
Emilie had IN FACT told me that God had to do this and why was I having such a hard time trusting God to provide for me in so many areas?
It's all tied together with a pretty bow on top.
It is hard for me to sit still and be patient. I am a doer of doings and a dreamer of dreams. I have so much going on that it is hard for me to rest and to let go.
But I surrender. Have it your way,
Kristin
As I dust off my feathers and try to make sense of what has stunned me, I have a few important details to write down for you.
I was chatting with my good, old friend Emilie this morning and took note of the time when God made a breakthrough in my spirit. It was 11:11. Emilie helped me come to the realization and the conclusion that I still have faith for the promises of God over my life.
At 11:30am here in Los Angeles, I made one of the most profound statements of my life. I will leave it between Emilie and I, for now.
This:
http://www.krcrtv.com/news/local/33-magnitude-earthquake-in-redding/32844840
Definitely connected.
Because 3.3 or 333 or anything to do with such is locked on, dead-on for me concerning EXACTLY what I was talking to Emilie about.
Then on Bernadette Ooley's facebook posting regarding the earthquake Cal Pierce says:
"The earth is groaning for someone to arise."
I empathically agree.
Someone posted on her post that it had been seven years since the last earthquake. God told me to go get my journal and look up the date 7 years ago. Inside, I found this:
"Laura Weltha wrote in an email today...'Well God says this, "Now it can't be done on your own strength. I'm going to make it all about me. Now you will have to give me all the credit/the glory. ...Give Him full control."
Emilie had IN FACT told me that God had to do this and why was I having such a hard time trusting God to provide for me in so many areas?
It's all tied together with a pretty bow on top.
It is hard for me to sit still and be patient. I am a doer of doings and a dreamer of dreams. I have so much going on that it is hard for me to rest and to let go.
But I surrender. Have it your way,
Kristin
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
My online store
Yes, I am crazy.
Yes, I have been told so my whole life.
And yes, it is coming to a head.
Like a zit waiting to burst. If I didn't do something, I was going under.
So here's sails to the wind.
Here's to hard times and good times and new times to come.
Here's to an unlikely source of inspiration that has helped me paint since for the last 6 years.
My online shot at the WING.
Yes, I have been told so my whole life.
And yes, it is coming to a head.
Like a zit waiting to burst. If I didn't do something, I was going under.
So here's sails to the wind.
Here's to hard times and good times and new times to come.
Here's to an unlikely source of inspiration that has helped me paint since for the last 6 years.
My online shot at the WING.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Cold Days
It's a cold day outside. Relatively speaking, that is. For I live in the City of Angels and with such a title at least things have to be pretty nice. I'm not sure if that was a run-on sentence or not. My grammar Nazi just rang.
Alas, it is cold. My feet are cold. My hands are cold. And my heart feels like it is growing cold.
How long can you wait for a promise? How long can a heart endure?
I assure you I have presently waited SEVENTEEN years for the one in my heart. For the agreement I made. For the faith I had. Seventeen years. There are days my heart feels like it can't do it anymore. Like I am too weak to continue believing. Like the sadness and longing may just overshadow me once and for all and I will simply cease to exist because the one true wish of my heart was just never granted.
I suppose it could have been many times over. If I wanted to settle, that is. I could have had my heart's wish many times over and I, undoubtedly, would have demolished them all. Heck, I couldn't even get to...
Actually, I can't tell you what it is. The important people know and details don't matter. What matters is the principle and the story; the relationship and the principle.
You can't give up.
Dreams don't let you go. This much I know to be true. And fortunately for us all, dreams are not something that we conjure up purely of our own devise. No, dreams are part other-than-us. If there is a dream, there is a meaning. If there is a meaning, there is a purpose. If there is a purpose, there is a way.
No true dream I have ever had has ever let me go. It's more like the dream chose me than I chose it. They dance around inviting you to play. Asking you wish. Asking you to believe. Then they vanish into the night somewhere and you are left wondering if any possibility at all exists or ever did.
Be sure that just the moment you let it go, it will find you. It will come back for you.
It's just the way it is. You can't get lost. You can't get separated.
You can welcome the cold.
Alas, it is cold. My feet are cold. My hands are cold. And my heart feels like it is growing cold.
How long can you wait for a promise? How long can a heart endure?
I assure you I have presently waited SEVENTEEN years for the one in my heart. For the agreement I made. For the faith I had. Seventeen years. There are days my heart feels like it can't do it anymore. Like I am too weak to continue believing. Like the sadness and longing may just overshadow me once and for all and I will simply cease to exist because the one true wish of my heart was just never granted.
I suppose it could have been many times over. If I wanted to settle, that is. I could have had my heart's wish many times over and I, undoubtedly, would have demolished them all. Heck, I couldn't even get to...
Actually, I can't tell you what it is. The important people know and details don't matter. What matters is the principle and the story; the relationship and the principle.
You can't give up.
Dreams don't let you go. This much I know to be true. And fortunately for us all, dreams are not something that we conjure up purely of our own devise. No, dreams are part other-than-us. If there is a dream, there is a meaning. If there is a meaning, there is a purpose. If there is a purpose, there is a way.
No true dream I have ever had has ever let me go. It's more like the dream chose me than I chose it. They dance around inviting you to play. Asking you wish. Asking you to believe. Then they vanish into the night somewhere and you are left wondering if any possibility at all exists or ever did.
Be sure that just the moment you let it go, it will find you. It will come back for you.
It's just the way it is. You can't get lost. You can't get separated.
You can welcome the cold.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
On Listening to Others
I have been a terrible listener. In fact, I have normally done most of the talking. Well, with humans at least.
I am a great listener to nature, to animals and to the skies.
But to people?
No way.
Not me. I've got too much pride for that.
Don't you know who I am?
Don't you see me?
Am I the only person who sees me?
So, instead of choosing to hear a yes (or a 'si' in French) to those questions, my negative, hell-bent mind would hear only negative things about me and the people around me and our relationships.
So, no they don't know who I am. No, they don't see me. Unfortunately, I am the only person who knows who I am.
Pretty sad existence that was. Stuck, sick. Unheard, sour, bitter. No one can help me and no one even wants to.
You can shift things any time you want. Did you know that? You have that power. You're like a superhuman, high-tech, futuristic Power Ranger or whatever your favorite is. You're that. Just shift it. I did. The day I did, life began.
Yes, they see me and they always have. All of them. My mom. My dad. My teachers and pastors. I mean just think about it. Aren't we so excited to know who our kids will become? Aren't we fascinated with their dreams and their quirks and how they love to love? Don't we truly want the best for others? How did I, for one, but we lose this along the way?
Yes, they know who I am. I have enough faith to believe that everyone can see who I am. And maybe I'm the last to know.
All I know is that if you're in the shadows and by shadows I mean negative thoughts about your life: You just can't be viewing things correctly. Because unless your view of life is good and abundant and happy and fulfilled, you are believing a lie because better is available to you.
If you are in the shadows, we need you to wake up.
We need you.
You matter.
You're important.
We see you.
Good morning.
I am a great listener to nature, to animals and to the skies.
But to people?
No way.
Not me. I've got too much pride for that.
Don't you know who I am?
Don't you see me?
Am I the only person who sees me?
So, instead of choosing to hear a yes (or a 'si' in French) to those questions, my negative, hell-bent mind would hear only negative things about me and the people around me and our relationships.
So, no they don't know who I am. No, they don't see me. Unfortunately, I am the only person who knows who I am.
Pretty sad existence that was. Stuck, sick. Unheard, sour, bitter. No one can help me and no one even wants to.
You can shift things any time you want. Did you know that? You have that power. You're like a superhuman, high-tech, futuristic Power Ranger or whatever your favorite is. You're that. Just shift it. I did. The day I did, life began.
Yes, they see me and they always have. All of them. My mom. My dad. My teachers and pastors. I mean just think about it. Aren't we so excited to know who our kids will become? Aren't we fascinated with their dreams and their quirks and how they love to love? Don't we truly want the best for others? How did I, for one, but we lose this along the way?
Yes, they know who I am. I have enough faith to believe that everyone can see who I am. And maybe I'm the last to know.
All I know is that if you're in the shadows and by shadows I mean negative thoughts about your life: You just can't be viewing things correctly. Because unless your view of life is good and abundant and happy and fulfilled, you are believing a lie because better is available to you.
If you are in the shadows, we need you to wake up.
We need you.
You matter.
You're important.
We see you.
Good morning.
Personal Tragedy
You could say I've had my fair share of personal tragedy.
As we all do.
If you are going through any sort of trial right now, please know this: there is a purpose for everything under the sun.
In my humanity during these trials I cannot for the life of me understand why. Why am I going through this? That's always the thought, isn't it? Because I can't for the life of me believe that all my inner dialogue, which is incessant (but is very empathic), is for naught.
I've asked myself the same questions for ever. A broken-record in my mind. And the truth is you can keep that record playing over and over again or you can choose to find the answers to your questions.
There is always going to be a voice of impossibility around you somewhere. Mine is usually in my head. And when I conquer the one in my head, an external voice of doubt or concern or you're crazy even (or best, all three) pops up and helps me question the depth of my faith in my answer.
So it is as we take ourselves through our thoughts and the dissonance to our thoughts and we arrive at the shore of manifestation of the why.
May your path to your breakthrough be laid with treasures just for you. It already is.
As we all do.
If you are going through any sort of trial right now, please know this: there is a purpose for everything under the sun.
In my humanity during these trials I cannot for the life of me understand why. Why am I going through this? That's always the thought, isn't it? Because I can't for the life of me believe that all my inner dialogue, which is incessant (but is very empathic), is for naught.
I've asked myself the same questions for ever. A broken-record in my mind. And the truth is you can keep that record playing over and over again or you can choose to find the answers to your questions.
There is always going to be a voice of impossibility around you somewhere. Mine is usually in my head. And when I conquer the one in my head, an external voice of doubt or concern or you're crazy even (or best, all three) pops up and helps me question the depth of my faith in my answer.
So it is as we take ourselves through our thoughts and the dissonance to our thoughts and we arrive at the shore of manifestation of the why.
May your path to your breakthrough be laid with treasures just for you. It already is.
Showing Up Invited but not TECHNICALLY
There are times in life to be bold. There are times to be brave. And when you think you know something or think you should DO something, well then by all means DO IT!
This is the situation I was in just two days ago. There was a very important event that I knew was being held in my honor but I hadn't actually been invited. And you know how LA is. You have to be on the list. Especially if there is free booze and food and world-prominent leaders in attendance. How in the world would I get in?
I didn't know. I stood outside my house, dressed for the ball and no carriage was there to pick me up. I mean I had called for one but not in physical terms. Do your part.
I consulted Fashion...who told me to Uber. And I did. My driver was in a Lexus, of course. He had the phone charger I need, of course. And he was excited to be actually heading to where I was heading. He thanked me upon arrival for the chance to see it. Very cool.
So then you are walking up and you're all like, "What do I say?" So I just asked if I needed to check-in. And yes, I did. Was I invited? Yeah, I was. I mean yes. How can you say you're not invited? We are all invited. It is on us if we want to show up or not. I asked to speak to the owner and dropped my man's name. Lots of secret conversations and people checking with other people and then BAM! They want my ID. Well, I Ubered! I don't have an ID. Fotunately, they took me at my word and my man's name and there I was.
Thankfully, it was a great night. I feel loved. I feel celebrated and the hangover was worth it.
Back to normal today.
Just Be.
This is the situation I was in just two days ago. There was a very important event that I knew was being held in my honor but I hadn't actually been invited. And you know how LA is. You have to be on the list. Especially if there is free booze and food and world-prominent leaders in attendance. How in the world would I get in?
I didn't know. I stood outside my house, dressed for the ball and no carriage was there to pick me up. I mean I had called for one but not in physical terms. Do your part.
I consulted Fashion...who told me to Uber. And I did. My driver was in a Lexus, of course. He had the phone charger I need, of course. And he was excited to be actually heading to where I was heading. He thanked me upon arrival for the chance to see it. Very cool.
So then you are walking up and you're all like, "What do I say?" So I just asked if I needed to check-in. And yes, I did. Was I invited? Yeah, I was. I mean yes. How can you say you're not invited? We are all invited. It is on us if we want to show up or not. I asked to speak to the owner and dropped my man's name. Lots of secret conversations and people checking with other people and then BAM! They want my ID. Well, I Ubered! I don't have an ID. Fotunately, they took me at my word and my man's name and there I was.
Thankfully, it was a great night. I feel loved. I feel celebrated and the hangover was worth it.
Back to normal today.
Just Be.
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