I've experienced it before. That's the only way I'm writing about it right now.
Because certainly, in the moment you are presently experiencing it, you struggle and wrestle to make agreement with it.
Everything you know to be a promise from God, you must completely die to and surrender to it not actually working out in order for it to work out.
You must give up.
This goes against conventional wisdom and the ways of the world.
And that is why it is right.
It is often when we go against convention; against the million voices whether in your head or out; against the wave that sends you in more panic and fear that the absolute pit of your stomach is about to fall through your vagina and you are about to exit your body because the sheer height of the wave nearly forced it out of you. Yeah, that's when. That's when you have to let it go.
I have to let this promise die.
It is the model.
You actually have to kill it yourself.
That's the model. That's how you follow instructions.
God, be with me. This is the hardest thing I've ever done.
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